Weekendness and Emotionalness
I think every Sunday post starts this way, but that’s because I’m predictable and obsessed with Body Pump. I had some pancakes for B-Fast before heading to Body Pump. It was a great class because my old Pilates instructor was the instructor. I say old, because now that I have a big girl job I can no longer go to her 10am Tuesday class, in which I used to be a regular and as Todd would say, the teachers pet. (PS reading that linked post makes me both happy and sad.)
I was going to stay for Yoga afterwards, like I did a few weeks ago, and I did go to the class, but again I left early. It was toooo yoga for me. We were looking out of a tiny window at the rainy sky and breathing. I get it. I’m sure it’s important, but I’d rather sit at home and stare outside with Riley. Just sayin. I DID however, go home and do an online Yoga for Hips. I REALLY enjoyed it, but Riley just wanted to play!
The weather was super crappy on Saturday and my mood certainly matched. I had a cry sesh with Todd (well, Todd didn’t cry, haha) about all the babyness. I’ve read so many blogs about people who stop running, gain weight and boom get pregnant. Nope. Not me. About people who have to gain weight and they just love their new body and “don’t mind the extra at all!” It makes them feel more womanly. NOPE! Either they’re complete liars or they are much stronger than me.
Let me tell you guys, it hasn’t gotten any easier. I still get upset about how unfair this all is. I still feel uncomfortable with the weight gain. I know I’m not fat, but I just don’t like the way I look. I gained 15 lbs of FAT, not muscle. There’s a huge difference. The pic below is NOT ME, but is a perfect example of weight gain I’d be fine with vs the weight I’ve actually gained.
I’m not saying all this for sympathy or to get compliments that I look fine- Todd, my family and friends have that covered 😉 I’m just
saying writing it so that if anyone else is going through a similar infertility issue, they can read the truth and know they aren’t alone- as stupid as it sounds. Sometimes it just feels good to complain to people who understand. Do I feel crappy all the time- no. It’s not even most of the time, but I’d be lying if I said it gets easier.
If you’re still reading… THANKS FOR LISTENING! Sorry for all the complaining and emotionalness of this post. I guess the closer we get to the injections and actual process, the more the time actually seems to be slowing down and I just think about it more. Moving. On…
On Sunday, I ran few miles on the trail to test out the Achilles/heel. Instead of my usual Asics 2000’s, I wore my Mizuno Wave Riders. The heel cup is different and it felt fine. I didn’t want to push it and do anything long, so hopefully this little run didn’t set me back. I made sure to ice it after.
Don’t laugh at my set up! I used junk mail coupons to keep the “sweat” from the peas off of the chair. Classy.
The rest of the day consisted of food prep for the week, household chores and dinner at my parents, per usual. Grilled chicken salad for the win.
What “ness” sums up your weekend?