I’m BACK… In more ways than one!

Miss me?! I know I haven’t been blogging lately and many factors play a role in that. Part of it was all the emotions after finding out I wasn’t pregnant and trying to accept that Kara will be an only child. I briefly talked about it HERE. Then work started back up, Todd’s been traveling internationally again and my work picked up, so I just pushed blogging to the back burner. Priorities right? But I’m back. Back blogging and back “running fast.” At least trying to get there! My mom actually “inspired” me to start writing again after my run on Sunday.

I’ve been back running since the second week of January and after building somewhat of a base, I’ve started my training plan for Boston. I was hoping to run it pregnant, but obviously that’s not happening. On Sunday I ran a long run with some quality miles in there. I nailed it and felt strong the whole time. We were hanging out, drinking coffee, eating pancakes (which always taste better when someone else makes them 😉 and my mom says, “You haven’t blogged in a while. Figured you’d start again now that you have more running to talk about.” She’s right!

My running has been awesome. I feel like I’m coming back pretty strong and that’s got me pretty excited. I haven’t officially put it out there, so here it goes… my goal for Boston is a sub 3:20. That’s about a 3 min post baby PR (ran 3:22:51 at Disney a year after having Kara) and a somewhat aggressive goal. I ran Disney a few months after the Towpath Marathon (10 months post Kara), so I was already in good shape and this go around I’ve just been bouncing around for the past 4ish months. Not to mention, Boston is a hilly course and Disney is pancake flat. If I don’t hit a sub 3:20, of course I’ll be mad at first, but I’ll enjoy “all that is Boston” and try again in the fall 🙂 That top left 3 x 2m workout left me feeling like a boss! Fast running empowers me and I need that right now.

I’ve had some pretty good eats in January… with Todd traveling, I’ve had several dinners at my parents and my mom always makes something delicious! When he’s gone, I often turn to eggs for dinner because they are easy, nutritious and both Kara and I like them. Todd and I (and Kara!) had a sushi date in between his trips and it was so delicious. It’s the one thing I wanted between each round of IUI/IVF in hopes it would be my last… no such luck. My lunches are typically prepped on Sunday, but I’ve filled some in with more fun things like Panera and the TJ’s Mac N Cheese- both delicious. Now that I’m back on the training bandwagon, I’m making sure to fuel my body so I can recover and hit those faster paces. Nutrition is SO important.

Kara has definitely missed her daddy, but she’s been filled with so much Nana/Grandpa time that she’s handling it OK. The good thing about toddlers is that they don’t have a great grasp of time and I don’t think she realizes how much he’s gone. She continues to be a great eater and while she loves her froyo, she loves veggies, too! Man she is an awesome little human being!

To bring this back around to not blogging because of baby #2… I was (and still am) experiencing all the emotions! I had mostly accepted that Kara would be an only child before we found out she actually was. And I’ve mostly accepted it now. I have huge bouts of guilt that I can’t give her a sibling, and while most of the time (85%) I’m perfectly fine with it, that 15% hits me hard. It doesn’t help that I’m at the age that everyone is having their second or third kid and with Facebook and Instagram I’m constantly reminded of how easy it is for other people. I could easily write a novel about all the random times I get emotional or the crazy feelings I get, but I don’t want to bore you, haha. I’m sure they will come out a bit in every post.

For now, I’m concentrating on training for Boston and putting all my emotions into that… and of course Kara. I am SO LUCKY that she is SO AMAZING! Seriously, though. We got extremely lucky that she is such an awesome child <3 Thank you guys for all the support you’ve given me this past year. It really means a lot! All the personal stories shared and friendships I’ve made helped me get through it all 🙂

Link up with AmandaRunning on Happy & Fairytales and Fitness!

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This article has 8 comments

  1. I’m so sorry to hear about all your struggles with trying for a second kid. Please don’t feel guilty – many of my friends are only children and LOVE it. I have a brother who is 7 years younger due to my mom’s issues having a second kid (surprise! 7 years later my brother appeared) and I loved being an only child for that time. And way to go on all that running! I am jealous of that – your speed work is insane. YAY for Boston goals!

    • Thank you for those kind words and real life examples… hearing about other only children helps! Knowing our luck it’ll be another 7 years like your mom, haha!

  2. I’m so sorry to hear that you aren’t pregnant. (I’ve barely had time to breathe lately and have been that bad blogger who isn’t reading any body else…) It’s hard to cope with fertility issues. There are really now words that I can give you that will make it better, so I’ll just send some virtual hugs your way.

    Way to go on the running and getting faster! Like you, the more I run, the more I blog LOL.

    • Thanks for the hugs! Always needed! Sometimes I feel like social media can be a trap, like I HAVE to check it so I stay on top of things (I’m actually writing about that in today’s post, should I get time to finish it, haha), so glad I’m not the only one laying catch up!

  3. I new to reading/following you so I don’t know the whole background of your fertility issues, but I’ve had friends who have gone through really rough times and what I try and tell them is that it’s not their fault–it’s out of their control. Of course if you *could* do something about you would and you’ve done as much as you can. <3 I'm glad you're back running and showing your body who really is boss! So glad I found you–you are so inspiring.

    • Thanks, Helly! I think accepting that it’s not our fault is the hardest part. I have unexplained infertility and that makes it even harder. I hate not knowing!!! We had Kara through an IUI and was hoping it would be that “easy” for #2, but after a year of that and IVF, not so much. You are just as inspiring my lady!


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